Your FamilySo who are these people that you call your family anyway? You know, those called mom and dad, sister and brother.You may think that those who raised you and with rare exceptions tried to teach you their way of looking at the world instead of giving you the tools so you can go figure it out yourself without preconceived or prejudicial notions are most likely your parents. The truth is that families are a blessing. Yet you should remind yourself that the members of your family are human just like you and like you are looking for the best way to learn their lessons and grow. They have their own goals and aspirations. Regardless of our relationship with our family, conflicts and disagreements are a normal part of family life and are essential to help us learn and respect the other members. In an ideal scenario, a family should be a place where every member, regardless of their status (i.e. whether or not you’re the parent, step parent or child) should feel special and be encouraged to pursue his or her own dreams; a place where everyone's individuality is permitted to flourish. Sometimes, however, the reality is far from this. Many young women, especially those who come from areas in the world where the culture and society dictates the role that the family has to play in their lives, can rarely express themselves openly, share their feelings, and have their opinions listened to with understanding. Rarely do young women learn to be independent thinkers from their parents and more often than not that leads to frustration and conflict with their families.
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Worst yet, you could be part of no family at all. Perhaps you grew up in a series of foster homes, or grew up with extended family who didn’t or couldn’t care for you or maybe you were raised by a dysfunctional, abusive, horrible person or persons you can barely consider “family”. Who is right and who is wrong is not what is important. How do you deal with it is the key to it all. As a young woman searching for her independence, you may be wondering how to successfully separate from your family and their ideas to leave room for your own without creating chaos in your life or your family’s. The very first thing you should do is to stop trying to please your family or get attention from them with your actions. This is the time for you to become an independent thinker, learn about ideas and practices that are new and foreign to you and develop a strong sense of self. Regardless of whether or not your family life left a positive impression in your psychology, the experiences that you took from them are invaluable because they will help you move on and ahead in life. You may not have chosen your parents or the experiences in your past, but you can choose how you are going to let them affect the rest of your life.
Are you going to dwell on them and blame them for everything that doesn’t go your way? No! Today, you have the wisdom, the maturity, the strength, and can find the means to turn all negative experiences into positive or grow all positive experiences into more some amazing ones.
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